pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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