I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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