She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize