she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
they're like a gay fantastic four
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Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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