thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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