Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i've created a new STD.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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