Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize