who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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