woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize