It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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