i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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