The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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