Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
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I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
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In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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