He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
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he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
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bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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