Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
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I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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