Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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