I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize