brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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