fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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