how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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