Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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