So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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