I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize