I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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