1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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