The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
God I need to hump something, right now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize