is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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