At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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