I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize