You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I enjoy the company of your penis
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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