There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
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I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize