i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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