I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize