You're so nebulous sometimes
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize