his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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