i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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