I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize