one two three fourrrrnication!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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