a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize