my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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