I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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