It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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