Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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