I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
your like the ambassador to my penis.
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I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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