Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My ass is underappreciated
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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