mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
As shirtless as possible
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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