i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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