Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize