why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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