Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize